Divorce

I work with divorce every day. I live with the reality of my parents being divorced. And today I have one question, why the hell does "we are divorced" mean you don't text your children to even say Happy Easter, much less ask them if they have somewhere to go? My end thought is divorce sucks!

I was thinking...

Tonight me and Caty were watching Rent and all the sudden it dawned on me! What if I can never find the right guy to spend my life with? I mean I don't really consider it often, but tonight it just hit me.

I have to find someone who understands that I love the gospel and live by its standards, that I am a fairly conservative person, and yet I love to watch Avenue Q and Rent...I feel doomed and yet oddly energized...yippy for Rent!

:) Thanks!

Life Is Hard, So Remember To Play Hard!

Yup.



Censored Baby Bogan!


Smile even though it hurts!


I love my nephew!

DUCK!!!

Yes that is a snowman...

Midnight Ramblings-New Theory in the Workings

In my mind everything is possible. There are no limitations. I may believe a possibility is not true, however that doesn’t mean that my mind erases the possibility that I am wrong and it is true.

One can only find truth as one perceives the truth to be. Because you can never know the truth, because you cannot perceive everything how it is meant to be or how it is. Nobody truly knows me except for God, including me. Therefore you can never know the truth about yourself or your life, because you cannot even perceive yourself completely truthfully. Therefore the only way to know truth is to know truth through God. And even then you must have faith that that truth is from and of God. Therefore you cannot live your life knowing what is true and what is not, you can only live knowing what you have faith is true and what you have faith is not true.

New Job Openings!

Two New Job Openings!

I need two very special employees!
Both positions are eligible for benefits and paid training!
Compensation DOE*

1). Crunchy, Green, Yummy Lettuce, that doesn’t freeze under pressure from the refrigerator!
2). Soft, non-deadly, Tasty Pita Bread, that doesn’t fall apart at the first sign of a struggle!

Please do not apply if you do not meet the qualifications, if you have an odor you will be thrown out!

Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any injuries, dismemberment, or being eaten which may occur while on duty.
* Depends on Edibility.

Life.

What do you do when you stand alone? It is so much easier to stand alone, when no one else is around you. Yet to stand alone, when you are surrounded by people is so hard.

The question really becomes what are you willing to give up and what are you willing to suffer. It is hard to find the answer. And when you do, that doesn't mean that the difficulties and pain stops, it usually means that it all gets worse.

It is hard to break old habits. The habit to just give in or just deal with the pain for the sake of peace. Yet when you do give things up for peace, such as your self-respect or your self-esteem, it makes everything worse. It damages you and it damages others.

How do you decide what is enough? Can you stand here for someone, when they won't stand there for you? And when you decide yes you can and yes you will, then how do you learn how to deal with the ramifications of those actions. The pain and confusion, the doubt and hurt, the knowledge and fear.

The question again becomes another and that question is now how do you deal with the knowledge that what you are willing to give to someone/anyone is not anywhere near what they are willing to give to you. They are important to you and that is required but you are not important to them (or at least not important enough or as important as them) and they won't admit it. And then you have to deal with the fear that you will never be important enough.

So In Reality The Question Becomes: How Do You Deal?

The only answer I have found is Christ, you have to be able to give it away and make it so that it isn't yours anymore. You have to be able to say "I can't do it anymore" or "I can't take it any further" and have someone else take it for you. And sad or happy as it is, occasionally or often, Christ may be the only one who thinks you are important enough to switch you places. He becomes the one who is willing to give more than you and willing to stand there for you, when maybe you aren't willing to stand there for Him. Which makes Him the one who may be the only one to ever be the one standing alone while surrounded, for you.

Eventually life gets to be too much, no matter what. You just have to decide what you are going to do about it. If you have no where to turn, then maybe you should look again.

Boredum!

I am Bored! I am Bored! I am Bored!

I feel like no mental energy is being required of me lately! I view this as a problem and a symptom of being Bored!

Help! Save Me! Help!

I will create something for me to not be bored about!

I will pretend that my class is not boring!

Sigh!!!!!

Need to use mental energy!